My best friend (who works at State Farm) just called me, so excited, saying she met a cute boy at work, whose name is Jake. She likes Jake from State Farm.She sounds hideous.
Well she’s a guy so
i can’t even pick my favorite song what makes you think i can pick a college
today this guy told me that my dress made my ass look fat (he sad it as a 'compliment') and obviously since it was 8:30 I was too tired for that shit and I replied with 'saying my ass is fat wont make your dick any bigger' and when he tried to defend himself saying his dick was big enough I told him that it doesn’t count if he shoved two thirds of it in his personality and he just looked at me completely defenseless AND BASICALLY I STOLE THAT LINE FROM HERE BUT I SLAYED
… its too early for this bullshit.
Sometimes I just wanna fuck, and sometimes I wanna be in love, and sometimes I wanna be alone.
dropping out of school to become part of a chicken nugget cult
The most comforting beauty advice I’ve ever been given. (via cinniie)
Pretty sure they’re twins.
Your eyebrows are sisters, not twins.
A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.
is ur music ever so loud u feel like ur suffocating
update: i was having an asthma attack
if i had a dollar for every time an adult asked me about college then i’d have enough money to pay for college
i eat cake everyday because i know somewhere out there, it’s someone’s birthday
Dear future child
If it’s 3am and you find yourself in a world of complete despair
Please do not turn to strangers on the internet for solace as I did
Please climb onto my bed
And I will hold you until the demons sleep
If it is Thursday morning and you are too sad to move
I won’t force you
I will buy ice cream and we will watch your favourite tv show and I will remind you of your importance
If you feel as if you have no purpose
I will remind you that you were created entirely with love and every pain you feel, I feel too
When you’re sure you can’t go on anymore
I will tell you that when I was 21 I searched for peace at the bottom of a vodka bottle chased by a bottle of pain killers
But that five years later
When you were placed in my arms in the delivery room
I realised that you were why I had been holding on
Without realising it, you saved me, do you know how amazing that is?
So if you ever feel like grabbing that vodka bottle, put it down, we will get in the car and I will drive until the sky turns magenta
I will show you how the sun rises every morning to encourage you to rise too
Sweetheart I refuse to be unaware of your sufferings
As my mother was to mine.